comedy feature
3 Good Reasons: Tom Deacon
Comedy Zone’s Tom Deacon on the three best things about giving up a month of your life to perform at the Edinburgh Festival.
1 Discovering New Tastes
I misunderstood the lady at the chippy. “Would you like salt ‘n’ sauce with that…A?” I thought she meant vinegar and salt, and agreed. To my shock what hit my chips, hard in their faces, was a sloshy brown-matter sauce plus wistful shakes of the heart’s greatest enemy, Mr Salt. Who puts brown sauce in a bottle with vinegar I thought? My mind spun and I feared the taste that would follow... It was incredible! You don’t get this anywhere in London. It’s amazing. I’m a pro at ordering chips in Edinburgh now. I end every order with “and a bottle of Irn-Bru”. I’m practically a local.
2 Practising celibacy?!
August means a month without my girlfriend Dom (the fun people have introducing us as “Tom and Dom”, followed by “your names rhyme!”, is draining at times). I’m enjoying not getting cold halfway through the night; now I can cocoon myself within my duvet, unlike the frantic hungry hippo game of sharing it out like before. This is great, I’m energised and no longer worried about awaking her in the night when going for mid-sleepy-poo’s-tommy-tinkle time. Normally an awoken Dom is followed by a ratty Dom, spouting that I’m a fidgety nuisance. This month is mine to be as warm and movable as I desire.
3 The Friendly Mice
I’m making a brand new friend, Mr Mouse, who lives, it would appear, down a gap behind my bed. He’s been nibbling away at my socks. I know this because there are holes in them which weren’t there before. It’s his way of saying hello to me. It’s the most I’ve felt loved when staying away from home. I’ve always wanted to wear my flip flops more, and now I see this as the perfect time to, as I have no socks anymore.
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Tom Deacon performed in ‘The Comedy Zone’ at the Pleasance Cabaret Bar. See http://www.whatareyoulaughingat.co.uk for more information.
published: Oct-2008
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