comedy feature

The weather is down to me

Guest Ramblings: Danny Robbins

I have a confession to make. I am responsible for the rain. All those torrential downpours that have made you question whether an Old Testament God was trying to wash away the depraved Gomorrah that is the Fringe, I did that. It must be me, I’ve decided, because my show, Dannyfest, is a one man Glastonbury-style festival in a portacabin at the Pleasance and clearly you can’t have Glastonbury without the rain and mud. In daring to challenge the might of Michael Eavis I have clearly inherited his weather curse. Sorry. If it’s any consolation, I’ll buy you all an umbrella.

My other worry this year is my troubled relationship with the staff of the Scotmid supermarket on Nicholson Street. In my show I give away a bottle of cider as a prize and also use pickled onion Monster Munch as a prop. So, at about 5pm every day, I’ve been popping into Scotmid to buy the aforementioned items. It’s now got to the point though, where the lady behind the counter looks at me with genuine concern each time I pop 2 litres of Strongbow and a 6 pack of Monster Munch on the counter. I can see her thinking, “poor guy – he looks smart enough, but he’s obviously got serious problems – even tramps vary their diet.” As soon as I turn my back to leave, I can hear them gossiping about my cider and crisp addiction issues. I feel like I want to explain that they are wrong and these are just props for a Fringe show, but I don’t want to lose my status amongst the other men who queue there every day to buy cider. At the moment I am an enigmatic figure to the tramps of Edinburgh – the only one of their number who does not instantly consume the cider on the street outside. Instead I clearly take it back to some dark crisp-filled lair and then pray for more rain, evil weather god that I am…

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Danny Robbins' 'Dannyfest' was on at the Pleasance Courtyard.

published: Oct-2008

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