comedy feature
The Best Things In Life Are...
Guest Ramblings: Peter Buckley Hill
Oh, the honour. To be asked to be the first guest rambler in ThreeWeeks. To ramble freely whither I would; to be a Free Man in Paris; to be Ramblin' Jack Elliot; not to care how many l's there are in Elliott. Or t's. To wander idly o'er the moorlands of intellect. 300 words of wombling free, and not a halfpenny less. To be a Benny Rothman of words.
The dream fades. For, if one has space in this August periodical, one must PLUG. The Free Fringe's 114 shows hang on these words with baited mousetraps, awaiting their own particular plug, and if they don't get one they'll look sad at me all the Fringe. May any gods that survived the Age Of Enlightenment smite us with plagues of boils if we come here merely to enjoy doing our shows.
For 40 years, I thought the purpose of brushing one's teeth was to impart toothpaste to the teeth. If a brush were not available, one could smear the white magic on with a finger. The adverts encouraged this, of course; each stressed the wonders of their particular brand. I attributed my intimate knowledge of dentists' ceilings to sheer bad luck. Until I changed dentists once again. And realised, with the new one's help: it's not about the paste, it's about the brushing.
Dear Fringe: it's not about the star ratings. It's about the show.
Dental health, mental health: you can save yours by these simple realisations.
My own show this year is about traveling from London to Edinburgh on my newly issued bus pass. Yes, I'm now officially old, and you can give up your seat for me. Remarkable how many people think I'm travelling up that way immediately before the Fringe starts. No. There's a big difference between taking 27 buses with a small backpack and doing it with a guitar, a box of Free Fringe backdrops and one's Being Nice To The Press Kit. The trip is already in the bag. So to speak. Next year, we ramble.
Come to the free shows with the big red 50p logo. If you don't like them, I'll personally brush your teeth. Offer void when I don't feel like it.
http://www.freefringe.org.uk
published: Oct-2008
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